MariahL

@sapphireangel @techsinger @talon @patricus @WeirdWriter @prism I've always been okay with written posts about this kind of thing. You can change names or not use names at all and if the blind person sees it then it's not... directly showing them? could be anyone. The idea that we may not even know that we're being recorded for video views disgusts me. There probably isn't a solution BME can employ and whatever, that's fine, if there is, do it, please. This just means we have to think long and hard about what we should use the service for even more. Obviously I'm not going to have them read my mail, but now because this is a thing, it becomes well shit, I have to almost stage a call so nothing I deem sensitive that may not even be sensitive is seen which is a lot and what if you don't have the energy for it?

@techsinger @talon @sapphireangel @patricus @WeirdWriter @prism I personally don't like this at all. Oh I helped a blind person today, look! Fine, tell your friends, but to use a call like that for views? No. Absolutely not. Sure it can happen, and I'm not ehh, blind? to that fact, I just don't like that it is happening, and that people are just choosing to ignore it. I am not anyone's feel good story, thank you. I'm fine if you tell your family or friends, hey I did this thing today and I feel really good about it, that's great, you do that, or if you want to post about your experience, go for it in a written post and be like, I helped a visually impaired person do x thing. I've seen that, and that's fine, but taking the call, recording it, and posting it? hell no.

@StroongeCast@hear-me.social If this comment ever fits into an episode theme, feel free to use it. I was just thinking on this and I didn't get it in last week. I will never understand two things that are related. 1: Why people have this idea that we as blind people or anyone with a disability really, should be nice all the time and educate the ignorant ones. I don't understand it. Why can't I just get into an uber and not deal with the stupid questions for once? I get it you might not see someone with a disability out going places, doing things, that's one thing, and I will talk to someone if I have the spoons to and if they aren't asking stupid questions, but this isn't something I should be expected to do. if I'm having a bad day? leave me alone. I've had some great conversations when I actually want to educate. Had an uber driver ask me once how I tell the difference between the meds I take. I was happy to answer, but if you're going to ask me stupid questions? I shouldn't have to say anything. Even if you aren't asking me stupid questions and I'm having a bad day? I shouldn't have to answer. 2: I don't get why there's this idea that we have to be nice and take something like someone answering for us, or someone thinking we can't do something simple without feeling some kind of way about it. My parents are a good example here. If someone answers for me, I don't like it. at. all. and usually I'll be somewhat nice about it? But other times I get a little snippy. I can't compare it to anything to make them understand why this is a little degrading, but I also won't stand for being told I should be nice or oh they're just trying to help. We are allowed to have bad days like everybody else. We're allowed to have feelings and sometimes I don't want or need anyone's help, thank you, especially if it's not asked for.

@FreakyFwoof@universeodon.com I'll just never understand how I offend people when I say these things. I probably never will, but there you go. I've been told, oh you're so bitter sometimes, or I get asked, well don't you want to drive? or something like that, and sure. Okay fair point, I have moments where I wish I could just hop in a car and go somewhere. I have times I wish things would just work without me having to find some way to adapt and these things can influence my mood and sometimes I am bitter, but I'm not going to always be happy with the fact that the world isn't made for someone like me. That's reality, I've accepted it, but sometimes I have my days. Like literally everybody does. I don't want my sight because I never had it, and if I got it that would be super traumatic. I've dealt with enough traumatic things in my life and there will probably be more, I'm not adding to that list.

@FreakyFwoof@universeodon.com We really do seem to think alike :) and I have one more, sorry lol. your podcast sent me down a rabbit hole. So I got asked to talk to a group of elementary school students a few years ago at my old school. There was a low-vision student who was in either second or third grade I don't remember, but the principal or someone high up on staff knew me from when I was in high school and thought oh hey well Mariah can talk to the kids and help them understand this kid's issues. No, I really couldn't because it's a damn spectrum but that's not the point and a whole different thought. . Anyway, I'm standing there in front of 20 or so kids, and the staff member who called me in said something about how everybody should be this low-vision kid's friend because she couldn't really see that well and I stopped her and said "no. no they shouldn't." she got weird and I was like, "Do not force yourselves to be friends with her. If you have things that you like that she likes? If you want to get to know her then yes. go for it, but don't be friends with her just because she can't see." I got pulled aside after the rest of the time with the kids and I let this staff member have it. I'm sorry but no, I will not allow anyone to sit there and tell kids to be friends with another because of her disability. You're out of your mind. Yeah I get it socialization and such, but I know what its like to have people pretend to be my friend because they were forced to and let's be real, kids can be fucking rude. They don't mean to be but kids have this way of being blunt and honest and that shit can hurt sometimes.

@StroongeCast@hear-me.social I don't know how related this is, but a lot of sighted people tend to get offended when I tell them that no, I wouldn't take any solution that would allow me to see. I couldn't even if I wanted to because my optic nerve never developed, but even if I had the option, I've lived this way for 30 years, the idea of sight actually freaks me out because of how overwhelming it would be, and I do mention that, but that doesn't matter. I mention how I wouldn't necessarily want to see the ugly in the world because I see enough, and that point doesn't matter either. I don't know why people get offended but there you go.

@FreakyFwoof@universeodon.com I hope I'm alive to see safe self-driving. If I am, you bet your boots I'll figure out a way to get a car. That freedom will be amazing. The problem is, re walking in our shoes, the only way to do that is a blindfold, and you can take those off. When I was growing up, there were a lot of activities for the little ones that were like ghere put this blindfold on and smell or taste these things and tell us what they are. oh see? this is how Mariah lives. Oh honey no. But also how do you know someone isn't peeking under the blindfold. you don't. There's no real way to get people to understand and god that frustrates me so much.

@SyHoekstra Oh no, I lost my boarding pass. Just print another. It's not that hard. This is why I save the trees and put my boarding pass on my phone, but then there's that fear of are you going to walk off with my phone? I get so weird I'm like okay give me my phone back. I don't even let anyone take it, I'll say show me where to point it.

@SyHoekstra I've had TSA hand my ID and boarding pass to the meet and assist agent rather than me before. There was one time the agent I had hung onto my stuff and wouldn't give it back to me until we were at the gate. I almost ripped it out of their hands. I can hold onto a boarding pass, thank you. Another time, my mom took me to the airport and the guy behind the desk was nice... until he started addressing his questions about my travel plans to my mother. She started to answer, I cut her off and I wasn't nice about it. I wasn't in a good mood that day and wasn't going to deal with anyone answering for me.

@SyHoekstra This! I'm like you can give them back, please. and then it's okay well put this away, make sure it's safe. I know stop talking to me like that. I'm not five. I've been traveling since I was 12.

@pawpower@beige.party @FreakyFwoof@universeodon.com I still try to do the things I love while knowing that there are things I just can't do anymore. When you've adapted all your life, the skills to adapt to other things just come naturally sometimes, depending on circumstance.

@pawpower@beige.party @FreakyFwoof@universeodon.com I wear my max's around my house all the time. I put my pro 3's on when I'm out, they're a lot less in your face than my max's. Something in your ears and not on your head, and I let people know. I'm listening. I just need these in, it's not you. there's no music on, there's nothing happening. My dad yesterday was actually talking to me and was like take your headphones off. I said no, I can hear you just fine with them on. I'm paying attention. Even with transparency on, they do block out harsher things so I can focus on what matters and I'm all for it.

@techsinger @prism @talon @sapphireangel @patricus @WeirdWriter But why should I have to stage a call more than I already have to. I have enough problems in my life, and the fact that now I really have to pick and choose what I do with BME because there's a chance I'm going to be someone's inspiration porn without me knowing? This goes beyond something I can solve. This isn't on me anymore.

@techsinger @prism @talon @sapphireangel @patricus @WeirdWriter I disagree with this. BME is a good idea in theory. There are good volunteers, I have had a few good experiences with the service. I just think like with everything these days there are people who are deciding to do stupid shit like this.

@techsinger @prism @talon @sapphireangel @patricus @WeirdWriter There's nothing wrong with emotional reactions, though. if I can make someone's day better, that's great, but I won't do it as something that gets them views.

@techsinger @prism @talon @sapphireangel @patricus @WeirdWriter I don't care if you talk about it without showing the call, go for it. You have a story to tell and I get it, writing isn't everyone's thing, but recording a call, then posting the call itself? Absolutely not.

@prism @techsinger @talon @sapphireangel @patricus @WeirdWriter I agree with this. You can't say "oh calls are private" and then not enforce that. If the cost of my independence is me being unknowingly posted on someone's social media platform to get views? I don't accept that. That price is way too high. I'll find another way. Policy should be enforced, it's that simple.

@FreakyFwoof@universeodon.com @pawpower@beige.party I'm already adapting and not even realizing it. I've had to change the way I do certain things, I caved and bought my Airpods Pro 3's. There are certain games I can't play anymore. It's just a thing I'm learning to work with. I hope I didn't offend you by saying that. I've had people tell me, oh my god it would scare me to be blind, and for some reason that rubs me wrong, so I try not to say things like that, but the fear is there, I can't deny it.

@FreakyFwoof@universeodon.com @pawpower@beige.party I'm so glad it's not just me. I've mentioned how I use something like transparency mode and I've been questioned. "oh you can take your headphones off." Oh sure, I could, if I wanted to be miserable and grumpy while I'm out. Adaptive mode on the or 3's is a godsend and having the two options is great. Really helps.

@FreakyFwoof@universeodon.com and at that age, they think that shit's funny. They don't get how much that can hurt and lead to resentment and a whole bunch of issues down the road. I'm sorry but I won't let anyone tell kids to be the disabled kid's friend out of pitty. fuck that. Not while I'm alive.