Josh

Took my kid to see Monty Python's Holy Grail tonight. He'd never seen it before. He went in knowing nothing.

He left sporting an outraaaaaaaageous French accent and saying "Ni!"

Mission accomplished.

I am, "I think I bruised a rib in my sleep," years old.

If you're wondering how my week at scout camp is going, I threw my back out and they just told us there's no more running water.

And all twelve Marlins fans rejoice

I just randomly passed a nearly 1/2" kidney stone. No idea I even had a kidney stone.

Do I have some kind of iron urethra?

If you ever fall victim to Imposter Syndrome, just remember that JD Vance, a relatively recently converted Catholic, told the fucking POPE that the head of the Catholic church needs to brush up on his theology.

#USPol #Christianity #Pope #Trump

Are the Phillies the worst defensive baseball team of all time? Inquiring minds want to know.

This is my official petition for MLB to require every ASG host team to have a player in the HR Derby. That was electric last night. It felt like it mattered, even though it was just millionaires hitting baseballs as hard as they could for shits and giggles.

#MLB #Baseball #HRDerby #AllStarGame

*movie trailer guy voice, over footage of a seemingly depopulated cruise ship that nevertheless shows evidence of recent habitation and use*

"You deal with the flu every year; you survived a global COVID pandemic; but you are NOT prepared for what comes next.

"Coming this spring, 2026. From the people who systematically dismantled our national health and safety infrastructure, comes a viral infection that will make you wish you could live in a different, better timeline:

"HANTAVIRUS!"

Everyone into the room: JOSH CAN YOU PLEASE PLAY DRUMS ON THESE 5 SONGS?

Yeah sure, why not. Let's get weird.

TTRPG game night tonight. Motivation is...not high. Not quite DM burnout levels, but not good. Not sure why.

Is...Is "Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die," my new favorite movie?

If I were a cynical man, I might find my way to observing our august Speaker of the House Mike Johnson skeptically when he consistently never seems to know anything about anything critical of his boss's administration's actions when questioned on them.

Dear fellow Phillies fans,

I love you all. Go Phils. Ring the Bell. LFG.

#OpeningDay #Baseball #MLB #Phillies #RingTheBell

I've been familiar with the history of Braunsteins for several years, having read "Playing at the World" and "Of Dice and Men" over a decade ago, but after hearing Bob World Builder talk about it, I have a new goal in life: Play in one.

https://youtu.be/wDnwEhimssE?si=YLZAHYTWt3uzEfXJ

#TTRPG

I feel like there's a lot of overlap in the Venn diagram of "invents a space in the Wawa parking lot" and "has a prominent neck tattoo."

I 100% responded to the IT audit information zoom call for the free whiskey tasting kit, tyvm

I'd like to formally thank Some More News for reminding me of that this photo exists.

All right, gang. It's 3:30pm and I'm calling it. Nap time. Everybody tuck in.

Anyone else out there spend their childhood suffering through an unhealthy and unreasonable fixation on the sun dying and expanding and consuming the Earth in 5 billion years?

At a dinner gala and I'm *prettttttty* sure the guest speaker just started applauding for himself.

@cwgrody@mastodon.sdf.org our mail demands the right the bear arms!

Hey, Donny, I'm right fucking here.

https://www.whitehouse.gov/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/2026-USCT-Strategy-1.pdf

#USPol #Antifa #Antifascist #ProTransgender

Someone find and kill whoever is making that obnoxious droning sound, please.

#ASG #MLB #AllStarGame

Holy shit Paradise S2:E4. I am wrecked. 😢

My wife nearly died of preeclampsia. This episode *destroyed* me.

Yo, anyone know how I get my hands on one of those matching snares?

#ASG #AllStarGame

More like Kyle "Send Him Bachus to the Minors," amirite?

#Phillies

I am heavily considering paying for Nebula, just for access to more Jacob Geller content.