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The elephpants are asking that the PHP Documentary interview I'm about to start recording *right now* goes well.
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Sara Golemon
@pollita@phpc.social
mastodon 4.7.3PHP 7.2 and 8.0 Release Manager.
PHP Foundation Board.
All around good Gnome.
Certified neurologically damaged by 3 out of 4 psychologists.
Occasional substitute host and agent of chaos for the @phparch@phparch.social podcast. Blame Eric and John for having lives...
Non-PHP toots happen at @saramg@fosstodon.org, for everything else you're in the right place.
1138 Followers
78 Following
35 Posts
Joined August 14, 2018
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In case you haven't heard: PHP Benelux is BACK, BABY! https://conference.phpbenelux.eu/
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What sort of talk should I submit? These titles have no further explanation available at this time. I'll just ask AI to make something up. (That was a joke, ha-ha, fat chance).
1. In case you haven't heard: PHP Benelux is BACK, BABY! https://conference.phpbenelux.eu/ 2. What sort of talk should I submit? These titles have no further explanation available at this time. I'll just ask AI to make something up. (That was a joke, ha-ha, fat chance).
Announcing the PHP Foundation's new Executive Director: Elizabeth Barron.
Some of you PHP old timers will recognize her. Some of the real OGs will even remember PHP Appalachia (but we don't talk about PHP Appalachia, do we?). She's been doing real FOSS supporting work in this space all this time and I for one am really excited to see what she's able to do for PHP in the coming years.
https://thephp.foundation/blog/2026/02/27/welcoming-elizabeth-barron-new-executive-director/
In honor of @elizabeth@fosstodon.org joining @thephpf@phpc.social, and because I'm packing for my move, I hereby present proof that PHPAppalachia actually happened, and that I *was* a size Medium when I was 30, tyvm.
This one is an oldie, but a goodie.
Sir, this is programming language.
Prepping slides for PHP UK (which I haven't spoken at since 2013), and I've been on this project long enough that I've been starting to find timelines like this fun if for nothing other than "Fuck, this industry ages you" purposes.
It might be time to come out of retirement.
Sharing tales about the PHP Community, and reminded how y'all rock.
Co-hosting PHP Podcast again this week as John and Eric are both still MIA.
I definitely do not have either of them tied up in a steamer trunk.
Who said anything about a kidnapping?! You talkin' crazy, dog.
PHP Alive & Kicking Episode 20 with ME in about half an hour. https://www.youtube.com/live/ob2puq3Di4s
We're gonna talk git worktrees and... I dunno (genuinely, I dunno) probably some other stuff because how do you stretch that out to an entire hour? Come join the PHP Architect discord and get in the chat. https://discord.gg/kawf7MZ
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And yes, I know that thumbnail image of me is just my pfp from here run through a transformer, but ngl, I kinda love it.
AI is not your friend, buddy.
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@bagder@mastodon.social
libcurl often pulls in libz and openssl, so its installs *may* inflate the other two. So I think it's *less* likely (but not impossible) to be #1.
libsqlite I don't have a vibe on. I know it's popular for embedded... 🤷♀️
OpenSSL has multiple alternatives on POSIX and Win/Mac have OS level crypto APIs. Embedded uses are probably better served by more... minimized, task-specific libraries.
zlib is the go-to IF interop (esp for legacy) is needed, but better algos exist for greenfield.
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@sarah@phpc.social @bagder@mastodon.social "Hey grok, generate a transcript of the video above."
Ow! Ow! Stop! It was a joke! A JOKE!!
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@sarah Because copilot. Because our unnecessarily monorepo coding infrastructure has had vibe coding mandated on it.
Anyone know if there's a canonical place for @krakjoe@phpc.social's busfactor post? I've got it on Web Archive, but the original seems to be gonzo.
https://web.archive.org/web/20211128002517/https://blog.krakjoe.ninja/2021/05/avoiding-busses.html
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@shudder
"Sara? Yes... that was what they used to call me. Sara the Auburn. That was my name. I am Sara the White. And I come back to you now - at the dawn of the 9th(.0)."
RE: https://fosstodon.org/@saramg/116887023081364159
When you realize what it is, don't spoil it, but do comment how long it took you to notice.
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@syntaxseed@phpc.social The LLMs refuse to vibe code any such list and all the good programmers have been sacked.
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@e3betht@phpc.social I had three last year. Turned out to be nothing, but a good reminder to pay attention. Sorry to hear yours is for real. Big hugs and you've got this!
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@derickr I have a shorter chapter for you: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1098946049
The entire contents of the first (and only) chapter is: "It's two."
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@milh0use@urbanists.social @derickr@phpc.social "If you have any information about the whereabouts..."
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@kboyd@phpc.social Apropos of nothing... I miss growing my own tomatoes. Bright... colorful... sparkling... tomato friends. They talk to me, you know...
Reminder that the inaugural meeting of the PHP Foundation's Ambassador Programme is today at 15:30 Europe/Lisbon (07:30 America/Los_Angeles).
Read more here, and sign up if you'd like to attend.
https://thephp.foundation/blog/2026/06/19/the-php-ambassador-program-is-open/
Search Monkey was a cool project to work on. It was just.... engineers doing engineer shit with no concern for profitability, just: How can we make our own product more useful and usable?
Shame what we got instead was Gemini embedded into every google query.
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@krakjoe
1) Ugh, that sucks, boo.
2) Surely you still have the site files, even if it's not resolvable.
3) Fuck, better check my domains.
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@asgrim@phpc.social Which part? PHP Benelux? It's one of the best PHP conferences in Europe.