I'm a non-binary trans girl from Poland. Used to be plural but from what I can tell, I'm not anymore.
Into all sorts of geeky nonsense, including ttRPGs, game design, drawing, linguistics, martial arts.
Grew up on the Internet and still kinda miss its early 2000s' iteration, despite remembering the many ways it could be awful.
I post a lot about politics, my mental health, and transness.
I try to approach people with kindness and compassion, but I'm also hopelessly autistic. If I screw up, just tell me. I will do my best to do better going forward.
You may probably DM me about anything. If you have a question or a comment, if you want to make friends, if you just want to chat.
I like the fact that on the Fedi, Boosts are actually an act of agency.
On Xitter, retweeting didn't really mean people would see the post you're sending over. It was more about hoping the algorithm will notice the post and show it to people. Not even necessarily people that see your posts. Just, in general.
you're vaguely pointing to a thing and hope people somewhere see it.
But probably not.
A Mastodon/Fedi post being Boosted is actually you, personally, showing people what you think they should see. It matters who Boosted what, and not in terms of how big the account is and how much the algorithm will favour it as a result.
It's your personal recommendation. Hey, read this.
And it goes both ways. Seeing a specific person Boosted something feels like that specific person is drawing your attention to it.
One retweet is meaningless. One Boost is no more and no less meaningful than one person saying "hey, look at this".
Which is to say, pretty darn meaningful.
TIL that Mozart had a sister who was also a child prodigy but whose music career ended at 17 because it was understood that she was supposed to get married rather than continue performing. She was described as one of the greatest piano players in Europe when she was a kid.
The fact that I didn't even know of her existence until today kinda says it all, doesn't it.
on cis allyship, definitely Boost this one please :3
I write a lot about my ongoing discovery of just how good cis women are to trans girls when they have not been preemptively made to fear us.
I write about how easy it is to get accepted as a trans woman, because I think a lot of transfems really have this fear of imposing. Because we have impostor syndrome for womanhood as social performance.
It is something that newly transitioning women need to hear. Our struggle and hangups and fears are parallel and often the same as those of cis women's.
They do not always understand the specifics of our circumstances, but the underlying struggle? They know.
And that's an important message.
But there's another angle I'm realising.
Cis women don't know that we don't know they know.
I'll give you a second to parse that one.
I think cis women do not fully understand our fear. They are welcoming, but I've seen them react to me gushing about how welcome I feel with slight surprise and minimising the things they said and did to make me feel welcome.
The reason is that they do not fully understand how fucking STARVED I've been of this stuff all my life.
A few years ago, here on Fedi, I read something that stayed with me. About how people who've been in an abusive relationship can burst out crying and have a huge outpour of loud gratitude after something absurdly trivial like their new partner offering them a glass of water or something. They act like nobody ever did something like that for them, to the bafflement of the other person. It's just a glass of water.
The reason being, of course, that in some sense they never DID receive this kind of small kindness.
A person that's been abused has a completely broken barometer of what is "normal". Treating people with basic kindness is the baseline, but to a person that's been victimised it feels like extreme, saintly goodness, at least initially. Because it's hard to realise that no, the horrors were not how people normally interact.
Same has been written about people leaving cults, abusive families, abusive communities.
Why am I mentioning this? Because trans people in general, and trans women in the specific, are kind of a demographic-wide example of that.
Like any abuser, a transphobe will make it seem like there's nowhere and no one to run to. Like they are the best we can get. Heck, some transphobic rhetoric will pose as the 'phobes doing us a kindness.
Here's the thing. Cis women do not necessarily fully realise that we never had a normal girlhood or, for many of us, any interactions with women in women-dominated settings, AS women.
I mean, sometimes they know, but they don't KNOW, know.
Yesterday I wrote about a nice time spent with a few girls that I am only getting to know. And I was gushing, both here on Fedi and to the girl that invited me to the thing. And I thought about that and I am realising that she probably doesn't understand how big a deal this is, *even* when I say how big a deal it is.
Because she, presumably, had a relatively normal time being a woman. So she doesn't understand why women interacting in a friendly and casual way is blowing my mind.
Because it's hard to convey that all my life I was primed to think cis women would reject me and treat me like not just a man, but a predatory, dishonest man pretending to be a woman. I know it's not true, but I've not *experienced* it being untrue.
Transphobes badly need to convince us (and themselves) that all, or most, cis women do not want us to live as women.
Most cis women don't *know* these words are being put in their mouths.
Just saw a comment on a thread that said "everyone knows how to code".
I understand the sentiment behind the words. It's admirable. But the comment itself is so annoying. It's kind of... patronizing in a roundabout way?
No, not everyone is able to pick up every skill. That's ableist and shows that you're extremely likely to extrapolate your own circumstances, social circles and various biases to "everyone".
I'll never understand why people say shit like this. I think it's supposed to be encouraging and positive, but it makes me, a person who does not, in fact, know how to code feel like a moron for not having that skill.
It makes me feel like a piece of shit and while my reaction is probably uniquely negative because of Reasons, I don't believe for a second I'm the only person who feels bad reading something like that comment.
It's also obnoxious. I don't go around saying "everyone can draw" and shit just because I'm interested in drawing and sometimes dabble in it. On account of not everyone having that set of skills.
I DID IT!! I FOUND THE VOICE!
Took me only three years or so. I found a voice that sounds more feminine to another person, that I can use without strain in my throat, that I can produce reliably, and that I don't hate on a recording.
It sounds very weird but it's just a base.
I've never, ever, ever come close to finding a base voice that works for me.
It's not what I want but it doesn't sound like my male voice with a modifier applied.
Three fucking years and I finally have had a breakthrough.
Here's to hoping I can find the voice again tomorrow.
...I might cry later. Y'all have no idea how much grief and pain the search has given me.
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social
I had a girls' afternoon with a bunch of girls and they fully embraced me being openly and vocally trans without ever making me feel the slightest bit out of place for being the only non-cis one.
I count it as #TransJoy because I'm different and I still belong. I *am* the same as the cis girls without pretending I'm *made* the same way. And they were all about letting me feel that way. Differing but not being something abnormal.
I'm struggling to phrase what I mean but hopefully it comes across between the lines.
@zzt@mas.to@davidgerard@circumstances.run
"ooooh, but I'm a Pole! uwu I'm a small bean! It's my birthday! I'm a birthday boy!"
Fuck off. I'm Polish too, but I'm an antifascist first.
Here's a little fashion hack for y'all girls and fembies, as well as the more adventurous boys.
You put on tights, as one does. You seem to do it right, but then when you move around a lot, or walk, or sit, or whatever, they're not uniformly distributed, especially very thin ones.
Tights are not supposed to be loose anywhere. It's right there in the name.
Here's what to do. Flex your legs as you put them on. As many parts of the leg as you can, and especially those front muscles right above the knees.
Finish putting them on, relax your legs.
Now they won't bunch up or slide over your legs weirdly or anything like that. Less likely to get snagged, too.
Y'all can thank me later.
(apologies if this hack was obvious to everyone but me before I discovered it. It's kind of a small revelation in my case)
@kaidenshi@redsad
Came here to say pretty much that.
Ivy is a villain because Batman is a protagonist, pure and simple.
And the implications of the queer woman with a Ph.D. who's the villain in the story of a rich white cishet man who thinks he's special because he once went to Tibet on a vacation to find himself should not be lost on anyone, either, their respective actions and goals aside.
Granted, most of Batman's villains are some combination of poor, highly-educated, mentally ill, anti-establishment and neurodivergent and/or disabled or at least thusly coded. So... yeah.
@TerribleMaps@zpravobot.news
That's just silly, there's some people living in Greenland and I have it on good authority* that they support Belgium as well.
*source: trust me bro
Putting on bright red lipstick that stays on so you don't have to constantly reapply it.
Then putting the same colour lipstick on top that comes off easily, so your kisses leave marks.
Is this anything?
(thread, 1/3), on the current heat wave in Europe; angry; very long; Boosts OK
This is gonna get me in hot water (no pun intended), but I feel like I want to say a few words.
I "can't wait" to see the comments... ugh. But here goes.
Just saw a post talking specifically about the weather in Central Europe. Central Europe, huh. So the person likely meant like Germany, Poland, Denmark, Czechia, *maybe* France?
I live in Poland. Is that Central European enough for ya? Am I allowed to talk about this?
The post talked about the heat wave, and talked about how AC is the solution. The post suggested tha EU should supply 100% coverage with AC everywhere.
How about uhh... fucking no?
Don't get me wrong (and I know someone is gonna strawman me into saying that AC is evil and people should die or something like that). Changes in infrastructure that make it possible to live inside as the climate gets worse and worse are inevitable.
Yes, AC is becoming an inevitability in many places, and it's gonna get much worse.
But also, no, fucking air conditioning is not the solution, it's a stopgap. Structural changes to how people live should incorporate better thermal insulation, smarter energy use, changes to labour laws so that people do not do physical labour in the hottest part of the day - are.
AC is part of it, but talking about it like it's the solution is such a fucking US-centric approach I can't even begin to tell ya.
AC is a luxury in most cases (shut up, let me finish). In the US it is, I am told, nearly everywhere, especially nearly everywhere urban.
And there are areas where it's needed, yes.
But a few things.
One, Warsaw or Berlin or Vienna aren't fucking Deep South in the US. Even with the heatwaves, we get to like 40 degrees.
AC is not so much a thing in Europe not because we're weird, it's because it's less needed.
Because, and get this, we do not build a lot of our houses out of cardboard the way it is done in much of the American South.
You know what the US energy consumption per capita was in 2003? about 9500 W. Eleventh-highest globally.
"well, that's not too ba--" - let me stop you. The top ten includes Iceland (pretty fucking cold much of the year), as well as Trinidad and Tobago, Quatar, Kuwait, Brunei Darussalam, United Arab Emirates, Bahrain.
Those are very hot places, and in the case of Kuwait and the Emirates, also places where a lot of fabulously wealthy people live.
The rest of the list? Luxembourg (that's a high energy consumption, but also it's a city-state of 700 000 people. I promise you they're not going to contribute that much to climate change). And Canada (almost like Canada is very similar to the US. Also, Canada is quite a bit colder than the US, and some large cities are in parts where you will need quite a bit of heating to make buildings livable).
How about most of Europe? Poland, where I live, was about 3500 W in 2003 (a little over a third of the US). United Kingdom, 4300. Austria, France, Germany all between 5300 and 5400. Now, Northern Europe consumed more energy - Finland 9000, Norway 8800, Sweden 7300. Hint: not because of those scorching hot Oslo summers.
("but what about China?" One, it produces most of consumer goods consumed in the West, that's energy-intensive. Two, 2400 W per capita. Shut the fuck up about China)
What does that have to do with anything? I am so glad you asked!
@faithisleaping@anarres.family@miriamrobern@dice.camp
At least it's possible to image search it...
My nemesis in terms of clothes is weird. I see a porn video clip, I am amazed by an article of clothing, and I don't even have a *way* to figure out if it was custom made or bought or what.
Granted, that sort of clothes are less useful for everyday wear, but fetishwear and clubwear have so much overlap that, eh.
...also, I've just realised that I'm such a stereotype. I don't think pre-transition me ever watched porn and was like "OK, I can make this outfit work" xD
(granted, pre-transition me was much less likely to be bored by porn that's clearly made for straight men)
@artemis@dice.camp
I mean... when USA got its ass handed back to it in Vietnam, Americans to this day frame the war not as a tragedy for you know... Vietnamese people, but as a nightmare for American troops.
Even less war-loving Americans seem to reflexively do that.
(and don't get me started on "thank you for your service" which is basically a prayer to the demigod that the US soldier is, LOL)
Like... literally nobody invited Americans there.
OK, I'm done.
It's always "censorship" to those guys.
They don't understand the very notion that maybe they shouldn't be yelling 24/7 for everyone to hear, whether they want to or not.
@mawhrin@circumstances.run@zzt@mas.to@davidgerard@circumstances.run
I venerate the Slavic gods without being a fascist piece of shit xD
It's almost like fascists only cosplay as neopagans.
Also, rodzimowierstwo is hardly an ancient tradition, lol. We have no idea what pre-Christian Slavic religions were like. Rodzimowierstwo is a modern reimagining, it's a New Religious movement, anyone who connects it to ancient "Polish heritage" is either delusional, fan of the white ethnostate, or both.
So I'm thinking about tattoo ideas on account of my 40th birthday coming up. I really really want my first tattoo for my 40th birthday.
I almost definitely want the tattoo related to my spirituality, my witchcraft and my Slavic heritage.
So obviously I looked for symbols representing Mara/Marzanna/Morena, the goddess I feel the most kinship towards.
And it came up with this cross symbol.
But, obviously there are Pagan religious symbols, including Eastern European ones, that have been coopted by fascists. The most famous is obviously the swastika, but there are very much others.
And I am not putting a symbol on my skin that is even loosely associated with people who claim to be "rodzimowiercy" (Polish for neopagans borrowing from Slavic mythology, basically) but who are just fascists.
So I kept looking. And wouldn't you know it. The cross is part of the symbol of the Latvian fascists, because of course it is.
Latvians aren't even Slavs!
Are there any symbols left that aren't dragged through shit by fascists? Sigh.
#neopagan#fedicoven
@oldladyplays@wargamers.social
A major indicator of gender in my speech when speaking Polish is my saying "I will punch you in the throat if you keep calling me 'sir' ".
On a serious note though... I don't know. I pepper my speech with as many gendered forms as possible and people still don't notice. People really hear what they want to hear...
@JoscelynTransient@chaosfem.tw
It's weird for me. I used to love HIMYM. Then it got so shitty I soured on it. And then I soured on the early seasons too, because it's a neverending parade of low-key queerphobia, and of basically painting a Nice Guy type, a borderline incel that objectifies women (but thinks he's one of the good ones because he regards women as objects that make babies, not objects to have casual sex with) as a hero.
I liked Big Bang Theory for a short while. Then it turned out to be a parade of misogyny, toxic masculinity dressed up as nerd culture (but the show thinks it's ok because nobody is a jock) and just extremely basic nerdy jokes clearly intended for non-nerds who want to feel smart.
Hmm, I am starting to see a pattern...
Now to be fair, I still think Scrubs holds up super well. As does Golden Girls, which I discovered super late, literally just a few years ago.
But yeah, I haven't watched any typical sitcoms in a while.
I loved sunglasses since I was a little kid. I thought they were extremely cool.
But sadly, I started wearing glasses at the age of 7. So I never owned a pair of sunglasses in my life.
My idea of their coolness evolved but I was always bummed that I couldn't wear them. I tried wearing contact lenses briefly in High School, but it was too hard on my eyes.
In keeping with the general theme of my life in recent years of doing stuff that I've Always Wanted To Do, and seeing (no pun intended) as I've started wearing contact lenses full time a few months ago...
Here's another thing off my bucket list of mundanities. When I saw this cheap but utterly amazing pair, I had to get it.
I think I pull them off quite nicely, too!
(disregard the facial hair please)
@mawhrin@circumstances.run@zzt@mas.to@davidgerard@circumstances.run
I vaguely remember a Polish short story I read once. I think the author is himself a shitty right winger or whatever, but this story I liked.
The plot is, or what I remember of it, it's WW2, Nazis try to summon the god Thor to help them win the war. They succeed eventually. Thor is offended and indignant that people like that would think he'd ever help them. So he kills them all.
My view of the gods of my ancestors is not dissimilar from that, LMFAO. I can't think of a single Slavic god as I conceive of them that would dig fascism as an ideology.
@alice@lgbtqia.space
You're so cool ^_^
And also your posts are a not-insignificant component in my continued practice of picking locks.
And I need the occasional boost of motivation because I'm bad at it and it's a frustrating hobby at my skill level.
So, thank you <3
Mentions anti lgbtq incident, cop mention, death of a bad person
@Toni2167@transfem.social
Granted, the police should not kill criminals but apprehend them, so they're not good guys here by any means.
Plus, their job was to protect people so that nobody would die in the first place.
But I am not going to shed tears over a homophobic murderer. There are victims of police violence that actually deserve sympathy and outrage.
@slothrop@mhoye
Respect, yes.
Revere, no.
And a lot of men will take not being revered by women as an insult, for some mysterious reason.
(it's misogyny. The reason is misogyny.)
@mhoye
This is disturbing but it's also immensely funny.
Like, what is it with white cishet men that makes them burn whatever relevance or impact they've had in favour of being a creepy weirdo.
Dawkins could have stayed "the guy who had some unusual but influential ideas about genetics and also created the term 'meme'." That's a pretty cool thing to be.
Overstreet I had to look up, but he could've remained the guy who invented a thing for computers. Whatever. I'm sure that's impressive or something, I don't know what a computer is.
So many men could Just Not and stay respectable. But they refuse to Just Not. All it takes to Just Not is to do nothing xP.
@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space
This is the mentality of a guy who thinks he's being Silenced not just when not handed a megaphone, but also when asked "could you please not speak through a megaphone? It's the middle of the night and people are speaking".
Not the perfect analogy but hopefully you get what I'm pointing towards.
@mawhrin@circumstances.run@zzt@mas.to@davidgerard@circumstances.run
(yes, I know this is essentially an Indiana Jones plot. But I love the story for the vibe.
Thor is not a good guy or anything. He loves war, war is extremely his jam. But he's like, you guys think you're warriors? You mostly just torture and kill defenseless people. Why are you wasting my time?
It's less punishing evil, more "why are this bunch of slimy losers acting like they're worthy of my attention. Die, fuckers", and something about this utter disrespect the story has for fascists is what's endearing xD
This is your irregular reminder that the laws that introduced vastly more surveillance in the US and curtailed US people's freedoms were a reaction to 9/11, meant to be temporary anti-terrorism measures in a supposed time of crisis.
These temporary measures have not only been in place for over twenty years, they've been made worse.
I'm sure they'll remove those assaults on personal freedom any day now. Aaaaaaany day.
If you're under, say, 30, you may not even know what I'm talking about. That's wild.
Remember. When politicians curtail your freedom "temporarily", they never give a sliver of that back. You have to make them.
And I don't mean just voting every few years. That's not enough.
https://mas.to/@fatbot/116803122046003000
Not to mention fat and healthy.
Yes, obesity is a health issue. But not in the way it's usually claimed.
Your main concerns when overweight are statistically your cardiovascular health, your joints, and possibly diabetes.
If you are active enough that your ticker is good at pumping blood and you otherwise don't have any issues, you're set.
If your knees can handle everyday life, you're set. You don't gotta be a marathon runner to be healthy.
Diabetes is not fully preventable with exercise but it definitely makes a huge difference.
Obesity can be unhealthy. But being fat is not automatically synonymous with bad health.
(And nobody ever got healthier by being shamed for being fat. It's almost like people who fat shame are not actually concerned with anyone's health and just need an excuse to be awful to others. Wild.)
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io
I both fully understand being busy with life, so don't sweat it, and also I'm very happy that you're out there <3 especially since like it's a good kind of busy.
Go, you!
@artemis@dice.camp
Best way I've seen it framed is (and I paraphrase):
People who say things like "if you don't respect me, I will not respect you" do some verbal sleight of hand where they mean two different things by "respect" in the same sentence. That deliberately obscures the reality that their words should be understood as "if you don't treat me as an authority, I will not treat you like a person".
Because both are ways "respect" can be understood. But it creates the illusion that they just demand reciprocity.
It's misleading but crucially, it is deliberately so. It's a feature, not a bug.
@aoanla
How hard/expensive would it be to make phones that mimic the structure of a desktop computer or even a laptop? So that when things break, you don't lose the entire hardware but (say) only fix whatever the damage is or at worst move the processor and everything else onto a new motherboard?
It's just... I know phones are cheap and intended to be largely disposable, but it seems terribly wasteful to incapacitate the entire phone just because of a software issue.
