A Prim and Proper Wannabe Slut

Today is #TDOV.

For me, I feel that today is the least visible I’ve ever been since I came out.

In prior years, as part of a volunteer role with a corporate employee resource group at my prior employer, I would be seeing communications I drafted go out celebrating TDOV and explaining the purpose of it. I would be leading roundtable or discussion. I would usually wear something to bring awareness.

This year, none of that is happening for I changed jobs due to pressures and the changing political environment and at the new job I don’t advertise I am #trans. In addition I am off work and home alone due to recovering from surgery.

Yet that surgery I’m healing from, which occurred 1 week ago, is facial feminization surgery, which is one step trans ladies may take on their journey. My bruises and swelling is a visible reminder of me being trans.

And in a few shorts days will mark 5 years since I publicly came out as #trans.

What does #TDOV mean for me today? I don’t know, but it is something I’m marking for myself.

Wishing you all the best.

Fuck landlords & housing markets.

Last year the house next to ours sold. It was previously owned by a nice couple with a little one younger than my kid but they liked to play and we got along with them.

It was bought by someone renting it out.

Single mom with kids my child’s age moved in.

My child and the kids got along and liked playing with each other.

They just finished moving out cause the landlord is raising prices and they didn’t have a choice.

All the kids are now sad.

One of the most annoying parts of getting ready for work travel to a state that has hostile anti-trans laws is going through my stuff I’m taking and decided how much to tone down my transness.

Part of me wants to be “fuck this, I’m here and proud”, yet another is “let’s just live our life under the radar”.

Bleagh.

One of the hardest parts of FFS recovery for me is the fucking energy wall.

I am functional & can do things.

However my energy reserve are not what they used to be & take longer to replenish.

I have a hard time telling when I’m almost out of energy.

Yesterday I did a lot. Lawn mowing. 3.4 mile walk for groceries. Other things. And today was mentally exhausting.

I slammed into that wall today & I’m so tired 🥱

For those of us who self-inject medications…

Am I the only one who compliments others, like nurses, when they inject me and it is a good shot?

I’m pretty sure the move “Galaxy Quest” triggered gender dysphoria back in the day considering what I’m feeling just now after randomly rewatching it.

Today I had electrolysis for the first time in nearly two months.

I needed a crying break.

Taking solace that I am in the less than 20 minute for a session range still.

Current mood*: Watching Star Trek The Motion Picture for the music.

*nursing fractured toe and side effects from tetanus booster

Declaring timeline bankruptcy today.

Let me know what discourse I missed over the last few days 🤣