Krissy Strange Nerd

For John Virgo's funeral they put him in a black suit. When they tried to lower his coffin into the grave they had to lift him back out and place him on his spot because they hadn't buried the guys in the brown, blue and pink suits first.
#joke #jokes #snooker #badpuns

Of course, in some areas of the country it's called a Baps-Royce

I ordered a crop calendar but I can't see the edges of it. Turns out I bought a cropped calendar instead.
#joke #farming

I love some creative vandalism
#FunnySigns

The things that I should be loud and angry about I am instead sad about

Human ages are zero indexed

@wouldyoucouldyou@mastodon.social @transgenderreport.com hmm, why wouldn't i trust the idiot who just spammed my feed with the same message again and again?

Time: *moves forward*
Me: wtf stop that

Rain! Thunder! Temperature dropping? Maybe!

Waking up on a sunny Sunday morning in your own home with nothing to do is a pleasure that can force the grim realities away for a bit.

No one's even starting mowing yet. I can hear birds, even a cock crowing in the distance

Feeling like I can't do anything without someone higher up monitoring me. And I know that they are because as soon as I do something they don't like they are on me about it. So now I just want to go home.

I am so good at messages

What have Wall's done to Feast ice cream? They've changed the ice cream to vanilla and replaced the chocolate block with some sort of soft hazelnut thing. Awful.