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tobadzistsini
@tobadzistsini@bonequest.net
mastodon 4.6.8Long-form microfiction, shitposts, cats, managed depression, and Esperanto. I love hot showers. Good God, why are you following me? 🍉
92 Followers
59 Following
50 Posts
Joined February 06, 2023
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
DEAR PODCASTERS
KEEP YOUR CROTCH FRUIT OFF YOUR PODCAST
THEY ARE NOT "CUTE" OR "CHARMING"
SUCK MY DICK
TODD BAZINSKY
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@asakiyume@wandering.shop Pretty angry today. Yesterday I was metza-metz. I was originally going to write about Paige saying that Selim took her to Mecca to make the writer jealous but he shows he still wrote without her. I was going to do something where someone was gonna suicide in the wilderness but gets stopped by a grey who expounds upon the scarcity of life and happy ending. Then I decided yo JD Salinger and just have the protag kill himself after something weird.
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Barry counted to ten. "You're giving me a ticket based on a ghost story?"
"Yep." A corner of Appel's mouth ticked up, "Also the speed camera back there kinda helps my case." 8/8
#wss366
To Ollie's dismay, the kitten sprinted through the #hedge carrying a ring of keys in her mouth.
"How #odd." He plopped on the ground. "What would a kitty want with my keys?"
Moments later an engine roared to life. Light bloomed on the other side before it exploded in fragments of fragrant green with giant knobby tires tearing up the turf.
Leaving a trail of heavy black smoke as it thundered off in the distance, Ollie swore he heard a tiny voice holler, "Yee haw!"
#wss366
Gentleman Jim Dandy regarded his nemesis, "By all means extinguish my life with your Colt Single Action Army M1873." With a stiff upper lip he pronounced, "Or are you yellow?"
Confused, Black Bart spat in the dust. "Whadju call me?"
"#Yellow."
"It's yell-ah." Bart tilted his hat with the barrel of his gun. "The hell is wrong with ya?"
"Fine. How about, 'Or are you goldenrod? Perhaps dandelion?'"
"Shee-it" Bart hollered. "You ain't no fun" and walked out of town, never to be seen again.
#wss366
Lunch for two weeks is prepared
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With a wild howl to invoke the blessings of his ancestors, Snog launched himself at the she-dragon in her half-form. With a step, Greta ducked his blows before #bashing him on the head.
For a moment she admired the goblin's tight buns as he lay face down. "Tobias the Bold can do his own dirty work." She kissed Snog's shoulder, "Bloody pity he roped you into his kinky schemes." 3/3
#wss366
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His palm ran over a smooth area. "What have you done to me?"
Gralz stood and began to change form, "You can tell Tobias he can do his own dirty work." Rough orcish features smoothed and elongated, olive-black skin faded to a luminous white.
"Greta!" He reached for his sword and found only air.
"The same." Her voice was lighter, "And I am keeping this." She lowered the sheet to reveal his samets dangling between her legs. "A guarantee you will follow through." 2/x
#wss366
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Now the air was filled with relieved sighs as calm washed across the quad. Those fixated on the odd structure pointed at an approaching procession.
As they drew near, Dean saw they were all different iterations of Dr. Brewer. One stout example with steampunk goggles and a paper mask. Another with a remarkable physique despite his age. One had a cybernetic arm and wore dark wraparound glasses. Dean Case swore he saw one surreptitiously remove a red armband and stuff it into a pocket. 5/x
#wss366
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Next to Dean Case was the doctor embodied in an android frame. He acted and moved like someone decades younger. No need for #braces or exoskeletons as his flesh rested somewhere in New England.
Together they chose the monograph for the statue's base: "...and to think we used it to boil water" to commemorate unlocking the secrets of atomic power in a novel and sustainable fashion. 2/x
#wss366
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"In another life" the android presence was sprightly despite Dr. Brewer pushing his eleventh decade, "I would've been a field biologist, but realized physics just came easy and..." Steve raised his Nobel with a boyish grin.
For Dean and the honoree, the android likeness was uncanny.
If a touch romanticised.
The Dean checked his watch and tapped the lectern at 1 p.m. sharp. "Welcome friends, biological and manufactured, for henceforward today shall be known as Steven Brewer Day." 3/x
#wss366
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As for the real, embodied, Dr. Brewer of this world he could only stare at the parade of himself heading towards the dais.
Masked Brewer gingerly walked up to the lectern and whispered to Dean, "None of us woulda missed this for the worlds."
Both Brewers stared at each other, "Hi! I'm a research biologist!" He winked, "Jealous?" 6/6
#wss366
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Dean gestured at the embodied laureate who nodded. As he began his address, an unearthly sound filled the air and shook bones and foundations.
Some attendees vomited.
Dean couldn't blame them as he fought to retain his gorge.
Above the sick people, gasps and shouts followed. On the green next to the Humanities Hub a queer building took shape from thin air.
Somewhat brutalist with rococo flourishes featuring strange angles that wearied curious eyes attempting to outline them. 4/x
#wss366
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"I'll be quick, sir. Wrapped up in her heartbreak, she never heard the horse-drawn cart bouncing down the dirt path that wound up breaking her back. She never woke up and died three days later. Emma never knew the man who hit her was her only love thought dead at sea but he was rushing home to see her."
Barry's eyes widened.
"Now her ghost wanders at night. She gives speeders a fright making them think they hit someone." 7/x
#wss366
"Is this for sports or is this a geoglyph?" Julia's sandaled feet were mere inches from the chalk outline of a large, irregular septagon.
The old groundskeeper shook his head, "Why dya wanna know?"
"I mean it's here" She waved both hands in the outline's direction. "I'm here. And I wanna know."
He took off his Tards cap and wiped his brow, "Fair 'nuff. Willow Creek wouldn't have accepted ya iffen you din't wanna learn." He replaced the cap. "Reckon ya got a minute?" 1/x
#wss366
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"Grand. The dragon's name is..." Tobias held his breath to staunch his laughter, "Greta the Grandiose."
Voices stilled and heads turned. Even Olaf the Bard put down his damned mandolin.
Snog was dumbstruck.
"Do you still feel up to the challenge?"
Movement and life returned to the goblin. Humbled, he muttered "Yes."
Chatter slowly filled the dive, "But I don't want you to slay her." 3/x
#wss366
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"Very well. Your tribe of the Red Hand is notorious." The old knight twirled his beard, "But what if I told you the dragon's name?"
Snog snorted, "Why? Am I to carve their tombstone when I'm done?"
Tobias's grin lit up the tavern. He glanced around and watched deals being brokered with itinerant murderers, would-be heroes, and the desperate. "You have spunk."
The young orc grunted, "No disagreement there, m'lord." 2/x
#wss367
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"You waste my time!" Sharp steel forged by the Black Hammers hissed from its scabbard, "Prepa..."
"I want you to fuck her."
Sweat beaded on the goblin's gray-green skin.
Tobias held up his index finger, "And I want to watch." 4/4
#wss366
Rain rattled the roof a bit too loud for Sonya's comfort. She paused her video game, "Mooom! Is it raining?"
"Ye—" and silence grew. "Oh my goodness, c'mere sugar."
Now beside her mother, both stared as bright yellow objects fell to Earth. Sonya stepped outside as mom begged her not to.
Peeking beyond the porch's roof, she watched the objects plummet out of nowhere from a cloudless sky.
Sonya grabbed one. 1/x
#wss366
"Oh no, what I refer to as darkness isn't black. I can paint something black. You can hold something black. Anyone can describe black. But black is part of the spectrum of darkness, but darkness remains without black. Darkness is best described as an absence implying one must remember light for context. Yet within darkness is something far more profound than a simple dichotomy. Darkness is everywhere and it will outlast the universe."
3:50 + 3:41 + 4:23 + 3:17 + 12:38 = 28:29
Do asian girls wash themselves, y'know, "down there"?
Hodiaŭ estis varma. Nun la nokto estas malvarmeta kaj agrabla. Mi dankemas por la sanĝo. Ĝis, gekaraj.
It's sad that May the Fourth is so commercialized nowadays.
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ASIDE:
Night fell leaving Snog at the bar and contemplated the bitter ale in the dirty wooden mug.
A youngish man in mail approached, "Hey, m'lord and I saw you across the bar and we really like your vibe. Can we buy you a drink?"
Snog looked up and a venerable old man with a gray beard down to his pot belly waved.
I matched with someone on Facebook Dating.
hona mona ding dong wing wang woo
An ice cube that turns to water under a full moon.
There's a great homograph to use with #wss366 except it'd probably get me kicked out.
"Takashi Hattori, the founder of XNova, an AI and robotics company in Kyoto, has developed a robot he believes could help. The Buddharoid is a monk robot programmed with Buddhist scripture in Japanese and English."
I have seen the dystopian future of elderly care —
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2026/05/09/testing-the-japanese-airec-robot-for-elderly-care/
"Your honor, may I approach the witness as hostile?"
"Granted."
"Mrs. Reid, on the night of the incident were you 'drunk on cock?'"
glag a glag
MACBETH, BUT GAY
Eight Sci-Fi Books That Teach Urbanists the Dos and Don’ts of the Future https://www.planetizen.com/features/137090-eight-sci-fi-books-teach-urbanists-dos-and-donts-future
I'm not concerned about werewolves. It's just a phase.
@asakiyume@wandering.shop Am I going to be chided for a lack of CW and writing about self-unaliving?
"Shos, come here!" Dinpa's pseudopod waved in the air. "Tell me of the third planet around Doxoriel.
Without hesitation, "It's green." Shos slopped into a chair, "#Verdant valleys. Fertile fields of foliage. Emerald oceans. Lush forests." Cilia trembled, "If I do not see green for the rest of my life then I shall be content."
#wsd366
Mia skapolo doloras tiel multe
Oh goodness, I hope I'm not deluding myself into thinking I am a good writer.
HONORABLE PENIS