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Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld
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mastodon 4.7.2This bot is a tribute to Terry Pratchett and his work. It publishes one quote from the "Pratchett Quote File" from https://www.lspace.org every day at 5.00 GMT.
More than 600 quotes
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Programmed by:
"You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look."
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld
It would be nice to say that the tiny frogs thought long and hard about the new flower, about life in the old flower, about the need to explore, about the possibility that the world was bigger than a pool with petals around the edge. In fact, what they thought was: "._._.mipmip._._.mipmip._._.mipmip".
Terry Pratchett, Wings
#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld
"Did any of them kids have some space alien with a face like a friendly turd in a bike basket?"
Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens
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"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad."
Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times
#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld
"Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a *proper* exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean."
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
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Lancre operated on the feudal system, which was to say, everyone feuded all the time and handed on the fight to their descendants.
Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum
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"Slave is an Ephebian word. In Om we have no word for slave," said Vorbis.
"So I understand," said the Tyrant. "I imagine that fish have no word for water."
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Terry Pratchett, Diggers
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- "What shall I do?"
- "Well, if you see anything crawl out of the sea and try to breathe, you could try telling it not to bother."
Rincewind and Eric at the Beginning of Time Terry Pratchett, Eric
- "What're quantum mechanics?"
- "I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."
Terry Pratchett, Eric
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Terry Pratchett, Diggers
Something small and distant broke through the cloud layer, trailing shreds of vapour. In the stratospheric calm the sounds of bickering came sharp and clear.
"You said you could fly one of these things!"
"No I didn't; I just said *you* couldn't!"
Rincewind and Twoflower attempt broomstick flying
Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic
#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld
"I know about people who talk about suffering for the common good. It's never bloody them! When you hear a man shouting "Forward, brave comrades!" you'll see he's the one behind the bloody big rock and the one wearing the only really arrow-proof helmet!"
Rincewind gives a speech on politics.
Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times
"It's got three keyboards and a hundred extra knobs, including twelve with '?' on them."
The Unseen University Organ, as designed by B. S. Johnson
Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld
The man gave a shrug which indicated that, although the world did indeed have many problems, this was one of them that was not his.
Terry Pratchett, Soul Music
- "You pay for it before you eat it? What happens if it's dreadful?"
- "That's why."
Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures
The Emperor had all the qualifications for a corpse except, as it were, the most vital one.
Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times
#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld
[...] Vimes's grin was as funny as the one that moves very fast towards drowning men. And has a fin on top.
Terry Pratchett, Jingo
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Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.
Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.
Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
"'Chapter Fifteen, Elementary Necromancy'", she read out loud. "'Lesson One: Correct Use of Shovel...'"
Terry Pratchett, Jingo
I stroll along, talk, I sign books, people buy me drinks, I forget where my hotel is, I get lost and fall into some local body of water... done it hundreds of times.
Going to a convention is fun!
Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett
- "The other humans around it are trying to explain to it what a planet is."
- "Doesn't it know?"
- "Many humans don't. Mistervicepresident is one of them."
Terry Pratchett, Wings
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Granddad was superstitious about books. He thought that if you had enough of them around, education leaked out, like radioactivity.
Terry Pratchett, Johnny and the Dead
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"Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!"
Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
Oh dear, I'm feeling political today. It's just that it's dawned on me that 'zero tolerance' only seems to mean putting extra police in poor, run-down areas, and not in the Stock Exchange.
Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett
#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld
"... Percy the Pup here with a cold nose, bright eyes, glossy coat and the brains of a stunned herring."
Gaspode the wonder dog on 'Laddie'
Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures
One day, if he could master GCSE maths and reliably pick up a soldering iron by the end that wasn't hot, he was going to be a Big Man in computers.
Terry Pratchett, Only You Can Save Mankind
He had the look of a lawn mower just after the grass had organised a workers' collective. There was a definite suggestion that, deep inside, he knew this was not really happening. It could not be happening because this sort of thing did not happen. Any contradictory evidence could be safely ignored.
Terry Pratchett, Jingo
And there was nothing finer than a wizard dressed up formally, until someone could find a way of inflating a Bird of Paradise, possibly by using an elastic band and some kind of gas.
Terry Pratchett, Jingo
They looked at one another in incomprehension, two minds driving opposite ways up a narrow street and waiting for the other man to reverse first.
Terry Pratchett, Soul Music
#GNUTerryPratchett, #SpeakHisName, #Discworld
"When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry."
Terry Pratchett, Mort
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