Spíosra

Here I be! #Fursuit #Fursuiter

I'll be here at CCH at least until 21:00.

#EF30 #Eurofurence

Do you think I'll find someone one day?

I tried my best.

I'm really trying my best.

@Nightraccoon@yeen.social Haven't heard of any of those! I'll have to look them up!

Back home. Heh.

@jonny@neuromatch.social Have some noodles! All vegetarian, possibly vegan! This may not have been with rice noodles, but I've been using rice noodles lately and it's heckin' good!

@soatok@furry.engineer Literally only following for the puns, what do you mean. /s ... (Sarcasm, to be extra clear!)

Whenever I've tried to explain how I feel about things, it always basically comes around to how "oh, but you can do it with close friends!"

And like... were you even listening to me?

I really thought I'd have found someone by now.

I don't know what to do.

I really wanna be held and hug and stuff.

@Nightraccoon@yeen.social Nice! Which games are you playing recently?

I really wanna find someone one day. I know I won't though.

You know I'm in a fucked up situation in life when the people I interact with the most are coworkers.

I really want someone to like, be with me and spend time with me and stuff.

I'm so fucking lonely. Haha

@KorrFur@furs.social It's what I'm hoping for!

While in Gothenburg I was looking for a place to grab a coffee from. Came up to one place and noticed the AI-generated art posters they had of what I assume were supposed to be various fruit-flavored drinks(?).

Noped out of there, checked out another coffee shop across the way from them, and the other coffee shop (without the AI slop) was amazing.

I get like, facial ticks or something more and more as I've gotten older.

It feels more like, a string of frequently recurring moments of being overwhelmed. Because it happens mostly when loneliness and stuff is brought to the forefront or when I start thinking a lot about relationship stuff.

It goes hand-in-hand with the episodes of confusion and disorientation I notice I feel. Things which should take a few seconds end up taking a few minutes because I feel like I have to constantly ground and reground. Close my eyes; pull in; grasp myself; count to 10; count down from 10; repeat.

Feel a little bit dizzy.

What's everyone up to today?

I wish I could experience human connection and intimacy like all my peers and even those younger than me do.

But I don't matter.

I'm 100% jealous of all of you who have partners, if I'm completely honest.

Why can't I have someone too?

I'm so tired of this.

#EF30 #Eurofurence #Furry #Fursuit

I'm scared to be alone.

Listening to knitting ASMR and just going to go to bed soon, I guess.

I'll find someone one day, right?

Making myself feel bad again by doing the most productive thing available to me to try and find someone.

Lonely.

I really want a boyfriend.

Already made myself more lonely by looking at Barq and stuff.

It's like, actually not fair.

For those with partners and stuff, I would like to hear about how and how much you cuddle and stuff together.

I would love to hear stories and stuff!

Just need to remember that I don't matter. Then it'd all be in proper perspective. Won't take hurt away, but it might help make the moments less long.

Yeah, would definitely be doing stuff with a boyfriend tonight. With him on top of me.

I'm going to bed now. I have my heating pad on and the window open.

Goodnight.

Lonely.

I really don't think there's anyone for me.

I'm going to get up tomorrow; take the bus to the office; walk the same path I always do; utter the phrases* I always do; and at the end of the day just come home and listen to music or watch Twitch streams or something like I always do.

* "Do I have a boyfriend? No; do I want a boyfriend? Yes; will I find a boyfriend? No."

Crying.

Boyfriend thoughts and stuff.

I'm never gonna make a New Year's wish again. It's too much hope poured into it.