Yesterday, my Crush touched my arm to stop me walking into someone and I could write 1000 words on the electricity that feeling on my bare skin generated.
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robyneatseverything
@robyneatseverything@mastodon.social
mastodon 4.8.0-nightly.2026-10-06Thicc and hungry #SexBlogger. They/them. #Nonbinary. #Agender. #Polyam. #Fat. #NSFW. #EatingDisorder. #Millenial. A romantic slut, writing smut.
A longer, better bio is available on my blog: https://www.robyneatseverything.com
738 Followers
178 Following
45 Posts
Joined February 18, 2023
This is the worst take I’ve ever seen
Smut is ✨literature✨ and it’s bloody hard to write well, actually
Here she is, settling into her new home by fighting ❤️
#BlackCatAppreciationDay #CatsOfMastodon #BlackCatsOfMastodon
I liked this guy, but we’ve just had a phone date and he repeatedly recited Ken Dodd jokes until I became drier than a Weetabix.
I think a lovely first date and a long make-out session would fix me
I’m moving house today! I’ve only had 2 hours sleep and I feel sick, let’s do this.
A reminder that puberty blockers aren't being banned for cis kids, because they're safe.
It's not clinical risk, it's transphobia.
The smug face of someone who pulls clean washing onto the ground to nest in and knows they’ll get away with it.
Fuck me, I thought the nukes were inbound
Present Robyn really hates Past Robyn and their decision to stuff all their excess clothes and crap into an ottoman bed before the house was put on the market, because now they have to get it all out and pack it for moving.
If I’m an absolute cunt who assaulted their pregnant partner, please do rejoice when I die! Slag me off! Don’t be shy, really give it to me in death!
RE: https://mastodon.social/@robyneatseverything/116861037598907583
I’ve solved the mystery - she’s in a food coma because I accidentally left the fridge door slightly open last night and she’s eaten 2 whole chicken breasts.
Oh Jesus, you try and leave Sky Broadband and you have to speak to a “Loyalty Expert” 🤮
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Also trying to organise a threesome, but that’s like herding cats/pussy.
Hello my loves 👋 I’m sorry I haven’t been around much - my life looks a bit different recently and I’m figuring it all out right now. Kbyeeeee ❤️
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I thought I was broken before, but the photo of the tiny child in a blue hat being kidnapped by ICE has simply finished me
FUCK ICE, FUCK TRUMP, FUCK FASCISM
Finally met a cis guy who gives 10/10 head 💥
And we’re guaranteed a second meet because he left his jacket in my hotel room 💅
Just 2 more days of my builder mansplaining at me in voice notes, I can’t wait 🫶
I’m back on the apps and here’s a pro tip: if a guy says on his profile that he’s looking for someone who “doesn’t take things seriously”, it means he’s going to cheat 🚩
Today, Nestie and I have been together for 15 WHOLE YEARS ❤️
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Actually nothing, I did really well, go me
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@BigTittyBimbo@autonomous.zone I raise you: colour-coded shared calendars…
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@BigTittyBimbo@autonomous.zone *fans self*
Convinced the coil is effective contraception solely because once you’ve had it fitted, you never want a dick inside you ever again.
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It’s true though, fat is an excellent insulator in the colder months
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@ptfeperson.bsky.social Well you’ve promised me now! It’s the short timeframe and overlapping projects which are…difficult
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@girlonthenet@mastodon.social Thank you so much!! I can’t wait to just sit down and not think about flooring or plastering or building regs
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@TheMercilessHeat@mastodon.social Thank you!
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@ptfeperson.bsky.social The spice of life!
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It’s like he watched Sex And The City once and thought it was an instruction manual
INSANE
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@kapellosaur@mstdn.social Thank you! I still can’t believe it’s actually real
@neil@mastodon.neilzone.co.uk Thank you!!
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@ptfeperson.bsky.social Thank you! Nestiversary is very cute
@CaptMikeYates@tech.lgbt Thanks!
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@melofthevalley@mstdn.social Berger was the WORST
@BigTittyBimbo@kolektiva.social She truly was
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@kapellosaur@mstdn.social I know, ridiculous, thank you!
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@benjamincox@writing.exchange Thanks!