mastodon 4.5.18Author of Feminist City and Gentrification Is Inevitable and Other Lies
My cold feet are a perfect example of the kind of little irritation we get so used to that we don’t even bother trying to do anything about it. We just live with it and vaguely wish it was some other way, but don’t really take any action to change it.
In 2025, I’m trying to identify more of these everyday friction points and troubleshoot them.
https://open.substack.com/pub/lesliekern/p/solving-problems-that-can-be-solved?r=7k2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Whenever I come across an article or podcast or even social media post that promises to explain intuition, I eagerly read/listen/consume, waiting for someone to finally help me understand what listening to your gut really feels like, and how to do it all the time. Either I’m very resistant to getting it, or there’s just something inherently inexplicable about it.
"Part of this acceptance is recognizing that there are a lot of things we really can’t rush or expect to get any faster at. Some things just take the time they take. "
"I know from personal experience and my coaching work that it’s frustrating to feel like your priorities are always pushed to the end of the list and like you can’t make progress."
As we head deeper into fall and near the end of 2024, I thought I’d share some of my favourite books that I’ve read this year, and a few newsletters that I like, too. I hope you find something that piques your interest!
"For me, the sideways approach means coming at something in what seems like a less logical or orderly way. For example, starting at step six instead of step one (not recommended for putting together IKEA furniture, btw). Doing a task that’s seemingly tangential to the main thing. Working on it in a different medium. Picking a random part of the problem and starting there."
Are there places in our lives where we put or keep the metaphorical training wheels on, perhaps for longer than we need to? How do we know when or if to take them off?
I want to suggest that it’s never too late to look for role models, even if you’re at the age where you’re supposed to be a role model for others. How do you decide, though, that someone is a viable role model for you?
I can understand the appeal of starting something challenging, something that other people are doing, something that promises Transformation with a capital T. So many new year’s resolutions have this quality. Quit drinking. Work out everyday. Meditate for an hour every night. Write a novel. Learn a language.
“What’s one fear I could face this year that would unlock growth or freedom?”
What everyone is ultimately worried about, though, is whether they’re going to make the RIGHT decision. The truth is, there’s no way to know for sure ahead of time. You have to choose first.
Recent urban policy debates have heralded the “15-minute city” as a solution to a host of environmental, social, and economic challenges facing our cities. In an urban world where cities have been designed by and for men, however, can the 15-minute city promise to improve the lives of women, girls, and other marginalized groups without deeper transformations?
https://genderpolicyreport.umn.edu/are-15-minute-cities-feminist-cities/
"What would it really be like if we were all totally atomized within our own little schedule bubbles, with no overlapping times when it was assumed we were either working or at home or at leisure? "
"An easier, in-the-moment way to notice progress is to pay attention to how you react in a stressful situation. This is where you’re likely to see the old habits, inner voices, and patterns crop back up, AND where you might see real movement toward some of those more abstract self help goals."
"I remember talking to my grandmother, who lost her long-time partner when she was in her mid-80s, about the possibility of dating other men: “They all just seem so old,” she grumbled, perfectly encapsulating the gulf between how we see ourselves (full of life!) and how we see others of the same age (about to croak)."
"Rejection hurts because it feels impossible to separate out what is being rejected (our resume, our painting, our dating profile) from our innermost selves. It feels personal, and it feels like it’s about who we are. Some rejections arguably are more personal than others, but in my observation and experience, the allegedly less personal ones sting just as badly."
"When I thought about starting a newsletter a couple of years ago, I knew right away that I didn’t want it to feel like work. The logical thing would have been for me to write about topics I was already known for writing on (cities, gender, gentrification, all that jazz) but I just couldn’t get excited about it."
https://open.substack.com/pub/lesliekern/p/100-posts?r=7k2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
"Sometimes we’re dealing with problems or tasks that seem huge, and we’re just slogging our way through with no clear path or end in sight. Then one thing happens that changes everything. A slight alteration to a routine. One missing piece of information appears. And what felt like an intractable issue dissolves away."
https://open.substack.com/pub/lesliekern/p/find-the-key?r=7k2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
"In general I try not to panic about distractions: it makes more sense to me to accept that they’re going to happen and not beat ourselves up for it. It takes a lot of discipline to eliminate or resist distractions. The thing is, it takes a lot of discipline to come back from them, too."
"In some of the doppelganger stories Klein writes about, like Philip Roth’s Operation Shylock, the doppelganger appears and begins to steal the protagonist’s life. I recalled that I used to have someone who I felt was living the life I was supposed to live. We don’t look alike, and no, she has never impersonated me! But for a time, she seemed to have everything I wanted and felt I deserved."