☰

@jay@shirtless.gay oh no did you go vacuum it up. Now I have to make something else to replenish the unscheduled calorie loss.

Me trying to keep up with the sexy @jay@shirtless.gay

“Dad, can we go to bed now?”

Chopping up parsley for a Thanksgiving pot pie. You know you’re Jewish when you smell makes you think of plagues, a walking staff that turns into a snake, and the song “let my people go”

I just put my protein shake on the counter and shook my apple (actually it was a banana but I know what you guys are gonna do with “shook my banana”)

We forgot to egg wash 🤦‍♂️

How I survived Covid (not to mention that I got to isolate with the sexy @jay@shirtless.gay 🥰). Glad to be back to normal (ironically, normal still involves isolating with the sexy @jay@shirtless.gay )

@jay@shirtless.gay Vanilla Oreo Brownie Layer Cake with vanilla Oreo frosting. Get in it, ya’ll

Tell me you’re having lunch without telling me you’re having lunch.

Going to Costco today. Please pray for me. 😳

80 degrees all weekend and now I miss winter

Not me telling a room full of quiet people to keep the noise down. Are they dad jokes if you aren’t a dad?

The sound of sports on tv is grating to my soul.

Can’t hear you over the crinkling of my snack bag and my chewing - what was that? 👂 🤚

@jay@shirtless.gay You guys, literally. I shouldn’t be shocked by what comes out of jays mouth at this point but every now and then I just am

@jay@shirtless.gay There’s no describing how gross it was. He actually had lured a guy into the bathroom, came out, and went back in with him more than once. They were parched at the gym today, y’all - thirst on thirst.

@jay@shirtless.gay Ya’ll, a tiktok content creator started me on a path and I can’t slow down. He’s not one to respond and his STP looked 🥺! I’ve made two so far, one was aight and the other was trash. I have three recipe’s on deck. Plot twist: content creator’s sister is also a content creator and she just posted a STP tiktok and did share the recipe. It has enough similarities to make me think it’s the same one and enough differences to make me doubt it. Welcome to my brain.