damaru

A subject I wanted to expand on as I've heard so much about it lately. And some good music, in 30 min, 1600 UTC https://anonradio.net #anonradio #podcast #yoga #guru #meditation

dehumanized
serialized
boring
predictable
docile
citizen

where did it all go wrong?

scared of being
paper filling
normalized

I'll live later

worried about
losing myself
as if we weren't
lost already

When did we make
life so boring
when did we
kill our soul?

Sacrificed
our powers
our passions
in the name
of a godless
numbing reality

For weeks I've been trying to run away from what is. But in order to do that, I had to find out what is yet to be, which I have no idea. This created anxiety as I was fighting the now, and couldn't figure out the future. This morning I realized, how about just being okay with what is, even if it's filled with emotions and passion. It is so much simpler and easier. Not only that, but what is now will fade away, whatever I do.

I realized that grieving is about enjoying the ligering emotions, savouring the after taste of the human experiences without looking or seeking the next best thing. Just being with what is, in all its humanity.

I have a tendency to look for the next best thing; the next best relationship, the next best exciting adventure. Even while something is still happening. This is tiring, and an escape away from the spectrum of human emotions. I want to celebrate the rain, the clouds, the sadness and the suffering as much as the joy and excitment. I want it all. I want to dwell in what is happening now for me, letting go of what hasn't happened yet. Letting go of the fear of what I might be missing in a future that has yet to come.

Drunken poetry

Between my lips
Licking the tip
Making sure
It feels
Right
Lighting
My cigarette
On the proper side

I'm working with helping design 4 books at the moment, and a new client just contacted me this morning. I should really keep track of how many book I've published through my small publishing house, it starting to be interesting... Around 8 book so far! I'm starting to get the hang of it!

Hello everyone, I'm glad to join
merveilles.town!

I'm male pan, single dad. I love exploring reality in all its shapes and forms, to a fault.

I like blending creativity with spirituality and technology. For instance; leading a Yoga Nidra practice, while playing synths and drinking huachuma is the type of setup I love creating.

Broadcasting live meditation on an underground net-radio, directing a Kafka play, self-hosting a gopher and gemini server aimed toward spiritual and creative practice open to people who want to explore both the technology and their process... All these things and many more!

I'm a little bit all over the place really, somewhat of a bridge between different realities.
I have no idea where it's all going, but the ride is pretty sweet.

I have been on a hiatus, away from social networks and most of the surface web for a few years now. I've discovered gopher in the meantime where I write on a very 'raw' level of existence and from time to time I've been lurking on merveilles.town even without an account. I find the community here quite inspiring!

Love how to sonicware smpltrek has been my sound board for a few season of theatre! It's a beast hidden in a toy form factor!

The actors kicked ass at the premiere! It all can together at the last minute as usual. Nerve racking yes but so worth it. I can't wait to be on stage again, I've taken a couple season off stage to direct, but I miss the limelight!

Dress rehearsal, wasn't too bad. I realize that I haven't seen the play at all, as I am following along the script for sound cues, and see all the gaps and line dropped... Been smoking non stop for the end of the season. Looking forward to be dine smoking when the plays is over, but not looking forward the post production blues!

#theater

Tech rehearsal today! I can't even remember when we started that play, and in less than a week it will be all gone. Theatre is so ephemeral, working for months for a few presentations that then lives in people's memories for a moment and nothing more. #theatre #artdirection

An emotional phone call threw me off. Broke the fast with miso soup an egg and kimchi, and lentil coconut curey later. Fasting is also an emotional challenge, I'll be more carefull next time!

When I listen to what is, what happens, what's is now without my intervention, without my choice and control, I can truly learn from it. My evolution is not about steerring reality in one direction or another.

It's like being a spring gushing out at the top of a mountain. Flowing down, without resistance. Making my way down, from the natural gravity offered by the mountain, sometime accumulating around a big stone, until the overflow wins over the obstacle. The 'power of choice' seems irrelevant; I can only choose how I am, how I react with what is.

It's a strange compromise that defies reality, defies logic and ethics. When I let the flow, the Tao, carry me around, my life, reality, takes a strange spin. If I am able to withhold judgement, healing happens. If I judge what happens and what I do, then I get stuck in loops, repeating similar patterns until I let go of my attachment of how things should and shouldn't be.

What I think about "how I should live my life", and "what is needed for my own evolution", is diametrical opposite most of the time. My mental concept is too limited to understand the greater plan. Letting go seems irresponsible, but I'm starting to understand that an intellectual approach to my evolution isn't possible.

It's crazy and scary, but after a lifetime of practices, I can't deny what I see. I am letting go, slipping into reality, somewhat unsure, not yet trusting the process, still judging my pleasures and addictions. Only the future will tell.